15 Things every man should Know about the female body
#1 Our hair grows faster than yours. Don’t be surprised if there are days when you graze our leg stubble. It’s hard enough to scrape your skin with a deadly weapon. Don’t add to that excruciating task by complaining about us not shaving.
#2 We are not that flexible. Yes, some of us are open to some kink, but that doesn’t mean we’re amateur contortionists. Most men think that it’s okay to arrange our bodies during sex in really, really uncomfortable positions. It’s not. So stop putting our legs over our heads without asking.
#3 We did not wake up like this. Some women are blessed with clear skin, high metabolisms and glossy hair, but most of us need to work on the awesomeness you see before you. Women moisturize, exercise, eat healthy diets, get facials, exfoliate, etc. Being hot and healthy is a full-time job that takes money and discipline. Give props where it’s due, okay?
#4 We’re not crazy. Promise. Women are more likely to be irrational because of hormones. Birth control and periodic hormonal imbalances *menstruation, ovulation, menopause, pregnancy* contribute to these mood changes. So, you better learn to live with it.
#5 Our boobs can hardly feel what you’re doing. Breasts aren’t sacs filled with nerve endings. They are just as sensitive as the skin on our arms. Men don’t realize that it’s difficult to elicit the level of sexual pleasure they’re aiming for when they focus on breasts.
If you’re not stimulating the body as a whole, the sensitivity of our breasts will remain neutral. But if you do it right, you’ll probably get a gold star – or a blowjob.
#6 Neither do our asses. It’s the same principle with breasts. So, stop rubbing and caressing it like a cantaloupe in hopes of making us moan.
#7 You do not need to concern yourself with our breast size. Men should just admit that they have no idea what the different breast sizes look like. They just want to hear a minimum B cup, and they’d be happy as a clam.
#8 Our ovulation period is a very big deal. It’s not just about the perfect time to get pregnant. It’s also the perfect time to not have unprotected sex as much as possible. When we say we’re ovulating, it means that you should at least have the decency to offer to use a condom. And girls, stop saying yes to unprotected sex if you’re scared shitless of getting pregnant.
#9 You cannot make me squirt if I am not genetically inclined to do so. A lot of guys swear they can make a girl squirt. They probably didn’t. She probably just peed. Women know when they are capable of squirting, especially when they’ve experienced an orgasm. Only those with the ideal *in terms of squirting* set of glands and muscles can actually accomplish this.
#10 A hymen is not a finish line ribbon. You did not win anything by devirginizing a woman. All you did was break a sheath of skin and ruin your sheets. Stop making a big deal about the hymen because it has no value, except for cultural reasons.
#11 Our vaginas don’t overstretch. They feel loose because the muscles inside are weak. The vagina is equipped to accommodate a tiny human being, yet it usually retains its tightness after giving birth. The only reason why a vagina would feel very loose is if a woman’s vaginal muscles aren’t getting enough exercise. Say it with me: Kegels.
#12 The urethra is not the clitoris. Some men think that any bump along the vulva is the clitoris, especially the opening of the urethra. This is because the urethral opening can sometimes be elevated and can feel like a clitoris. It would be better if a man just looked to see where the clitoris actually is, instead of making his partner susceptible to a urinary tract infection.
#13 That’s not how you use the clitoris. Men were ecstatic when women finally taught them how to find the clitoris. The problem was that it was easier to teach men where it was located than how it was supposed to be used. It’s different for every woman, so please, just ask!
#14 That’s not how you penetrate the G-spot. Just like the clitoris, knowing where it is does not guarantee that you’re making contact the right way. Again, this depends on how a woman feels when her G-spot is being stimulated. Speed, angle and overall foreplay play a big part in this.
#15 There’s poop in our rectums, so stop asking for anal. Most women do not know how to prep for anal sex. A lot of men tend to jump the gun with this at the most inopportune moment, like after dinner. If you really want to try it, you have to talk to your partner about it and do the necessary research. Or else you’ll get a really nasty surprise.
It doesn’t take a genius to understand the basics of the female body. You just need to be open-minded, be willing to ask questions and be open to experimentation.