Understanding how to save your relationship is not as difficult as it seems. It takes some work, but the payoff can be big with a renewed relationship.
Every relationship goes through their fair share of struggles—it’s only normal. If your relationship is going through some hard times, don’t just throw in the towel. If you’re left wondering how to save your relationship, it can be done.
It’s going to take some work, but, what did you think relationships were? Only fun? Here are 16 ways to help you save your struggling relationship.
#1 Are you still in love? You need to stop and really take time with this. If you find yourself constantly arguing with your partner, is that because they always leave the toilet seat up or is there a hidden reason for your anger.
Do you still want to be with this person? Think about this. If you don’t, this could be a reason why you’re miserable in your relationship.
#2 Communication is key. This is one of the biggest issues when looking at failed relationships. They didn’t communicate their feelings and emotions to each other.
No one can read minds. You need to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. If you feel they’re not spending enough time with you—tell them. They need to be aware of what’s going on. That’s how change is made.
#3 Think before you yell. Before you get yourself all worked up into a rage session, just breathe. Yelling won’t actually solve the fight, nor will it make you feel any better. So, just take a breath and carefully think about what you want to say.
If not, you may just blurt out something that could really hurt your partner and possibly make things even worse.
#4 Make a weekly date night. Ooh, date night! Who doesn’t like a good date night? Everyone needs a weekly date night to keep the connection going. If you ignore having date nights, you may be disconnecting with your partner.
I know, you’re busy—meetings, family engagements, soccer practice. It makes for one busy schedule. But if you want to work on your relationship, you need to make time for your partner.
#5 Don’t be distracted by technology. Facebook and Instagram are great tools for communicating with friends and family. However, don’t make it a part of your relationship. Check Facebook, check your emails, but don’t do it while you’re talking to your partner. It’s rude and you look like an ass. Put your phone down and respect your partner.
#6 Talk about serious matters face-to-face. If you have an issue with your partner, don’t text them during work or call them in an angry rage. This doesn’t help solve anything. You need to sit down and have a face-to-face conversation. If not, there could be unnecessary misunderstanding and that makes matters worse.
#7 Surprise your partner. You don’t need to wait for Christmas or their birthday to give them something. Surprise them whenever you want with something little. You could surprise them with their favorite cupcake from the bakery down the street or concert tickets to a band they like. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate gift, but it reminds them that you think of them.
#8 Don’t get stuck in a routine. People get themselves into a routine: work, dinner, gym, sleep. It’s easy to fall into a routine, but you need to switch it up every now and then.
You know, spice up the routine. Go out for dinner at a new restaurant or check out some festivals happening in your city. If you just sit at home watching TV, you’re killing the spark.
#9 Make sure to stay physically connected. If you’re watching a movie with your partner, cuddle up next to them. If you two are reading in bed, intertwine your legs into theirs. Physical contact is extremely important and when you’re going through hard times, that’s when you need it most.
Physical contact lets your partner know that you’re still there for them and for the relationship.
#10 Forgive each other. I cannot state the importance of this. Forgive. Do it for yourself. Yes, that fight two years ago was bad. Yes, they forgot to buy you a birthday cake. Okay, I know, it hurt.
And trust me, since you’ve brought it up in every fight since then, they’re fully aware.
You must forgive your partner for things they’ve done in the past, or you will not be able to move past the negativity which kills your relationship.
#11 Don’t belittle your partner. We’ve all gone through rough patches. and it usually ends up with us calling our partner an idiot or annoying. Well, that’s not helping your relationship at all.
And if you want to make this relationship better, calling your partner belittling and demeaning names certainly won’t help the situation.
What happens when someone belittles you? You close up and push yourself away from them. Not the makings for a happy outcome.
#12 Before you go to bed, look at your partner. This may sound a little lovey dovey, but it can actually be very helpful and therapeutic. Before you two go to bed, look into each other’s eyes. I don’t mean casually gaze over, I mean, really, sincerely look at each other. This helps create the connection between you that may have been fading.
#13 Have boundaries. Everyone needs boundaries, and you may think once you’re in a relationship all boundaries are removed. That’s not the case. When I mean boundaries, I don’t mean going to the bathroom in front of each other.
For example, a boundary or rule could be that every night you eat dinner together. Simple. And unless there’s a special circumstance, that’s what you two agree to do every day together. This shows respect for the relationship.
#14 You want the same things. If you’re wondering how to save your relationship, you need to find out if you and your partner even have the same goals in mind? Perhaps they don’t want to be with you anymore or vice versa.
What you need to do is evaluate your relationship and decide if you feel it’s worth saving. If it is and your partner agrees, then you guys have some work to do.
#15 Leave out the third parties. Everyone likes getting involved in someone else’s business. When you’re watching that happen in a romantic comedy, sure, it’s funny, but when it becomes your life—that’s a whole other story.
Is there someone external interrupting your relationship? If you’re telling them your issues, well, you bear partial blame. You’re not in a relationship with them, so instead, direct your feelings to your partner.
#16 Be honest about the relationship. The worst thing you can do is tell everyone your relationship is going great, and then a week later you break up with your partner. No, only is it not fair to yourself, it’s not respecting your relationship.
If things aren’t going well, sit down with you partner and talk to them about it. What are you not happy about with the relationship and how are you two going to work through it. If you’re not honest with your partner, these problems only build up and continue to frustrate you.
Whoever said being in a relationship is easy is obviously single. They’re hard work, but if you love your partner and want to save your relationship, the hard work is worth it.