There are typically many, many signs your husband doesn’t love you. The problem is almost never that there aren’t enough signs — the problem is almost always wives not wanting to see and accept them.
Some of the signs can be hard to spot, but not all of them. However, the biggest reason we don’t see the signs is because we don’t want to see them, so we define them as meaning something other than the truth that my husband doesn’t love me.
There are certain times of the year when showing signs we love our partner is expected, and societal pressure usually forces us to act — the biggies typically are Valentine’s Day, Christmas, our wedding anniversary and birthday. Yet it’s important for all of us that we don’t put too much meaning into the ‘I love you’s’ expressed on these days. We all demonstrate and prove we love our partners by what we do every day of the year, not just on special occasions.
Here’s a list signs your husband doesn’t love you that are all true. They come from the lives of couples I’m counseling right now. These signs don’t come just from wives who are needing help seeing and accepting the signs their husband doesn’t love them, but also from husbands who are struggling to see and accept the signs that their wives don’t really love them as well.
1. Love Cards on Holidays, but Never Anything Else
What if your husband didn’t get you anything for Christmas, could that be a sign your husband doesn’t love you? What if you had to buy and wrap your own Christmas gifts every year, but he took credit for giving you them as if they were gifts coming from him? (read When He Doesn’t Love You Back) But what if the same husband gave you cards expressing his love for you on holidays, and not just one card, but multiple cards each time, would that be prove that he really does love you?
2. When There Is Love, It Never Lasts
What if your wife was telling you yesterday that you’re a “piece of sh-t,” she “can’t stand to be around you,” and wants you “out of my life forever.” Then less than 24-hours later she’s hugging you, being affectionate towards you, and then has sex with you. Would this mean that what she said the day wasn’t true?
3. You’re Always the Problem (i.e. You’re The Reason He Doesn’t Change)
What if whenever you tell your husband how unhappy you are in your marriage and what you need him to change to make it better, he always shifts the conversation around to what’s wrong with you? What if he always says you’re the reason he doesn’t love you more? What if you’re always the problem and he never is? Could that be a sign your husband doesn’t love you?
4. Doesn’t Accept (i.e. really Love) You
What if your wife is always finding fault with you? What if it seems like in her eyes you can never do anything right? And when you do seem to finally get it ‘right,’ another thing you don’t do right pops up? What if you looked back over your relationship and saw a pattern of her lack of accepting (i.e. really loving) you?
5. There’s Never Any Change
What if you ask your husband to change and he never does? What if he doesn’t seem to hear you, so you ask again and again, even to the point of nagging? What if you plead, but get no response? What if you get so fed up and angry that you ‘rant’ at him trying to get him to hear you and act, and yet he still takes no action? Could you be banging your head against the signs your husband doesn’t love you?
This is not an exhaustive list and is really just a start to the signs your husband doesn’t love you. I could list many, many more — signs such as your relationship always revolves around him, and his needs and wants always come first; he’s never willing to compromise to meet some of your needs; he never compliments or praises you — i.e. never says anything loving (When He Doesn’t Love You Anymore).
It’s easier to see the signs a husband doesn’t love his wife in another wife’s marriage more than it is in your own. Another important point is that the signs your husband doesn’t love you can be the same as the signs your wife doesn’t love you. I intentionally intermixed unloving signs from both husbands and wives in the above examples because they’re interchangeable. Unloving behavior is unloving behavior, and it doesn’t matter which partner it comes from.
When we love someone, we care about them, we accept them, we respect them, we make them and their needs a priority, and we express our love for them in big and small ways. When we don’t do this, it means the opposite. If you’re in a relationship where there’s a consistent pattern of the opposite happening, then you need to see and accept the signs your husband doesn’t love you.