Differences Between Love And Affection
I repeatedly referred to love and affection separately whenever I speak. That’s intentional—because love and affection are not the same thing. Difference Between Love And Affection
Love is a biblical mandate and is foundational to a successful marriage.
I’m convinced every reasonably healthy person is equipped to love others the way God designed. You choose to love someone else by putting their needs above your own. It’s a commitment of your will.Difference Between Love And Affection
Affection, however, is a step beyond love.
Affection takes the loving relationship between a man and woman in marriage into the deeper realm of tender expressions. It’s one that results in feelings of closeness, passion, and security. Affection takes work because it requires knowledge of what makes the other person tick.Difference Between Love And Affection
You show affection when you perceive and appreciate what your spouse needs and meet those needs in a way he or she can understand. Affection results in marital contentment, intimacy, satisfaction, and anticipation. It’s joy all wrapped into one package.
- Affection isn’t sexual. However, it naturally leads to sexual satisfaction.
- Affection isn’t time, but it requires time to accomplish.Difference Between Love And Affection
- Affection isn’t communication. But without communication, there can be no affection.
- Affection isn’t romance, but it typically involves romantic spontaneity, creativity, and fun.
Moreover, when affection is present in your relationship, you just know it. If you don’t feel it, you probably don’t have it. Here’s my definition of affection:
In marriage, you feel the passion, and the loving acts become person specific. Affection is also important between parent and child. An affectionate family makes a child feel close, safe, and cared for as well. Affection must be an ingredient in all healthy personal relationships, including those with friends and extended family.
The Bible describes love in terms of action, not feelings. Look at the familiar description of love from 1 Corinthians 13, and notice all of the actions required:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails“ (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV).
I like to say (though it may be grammatically flawed) that affection is “love as actions” —actions that leave your spouse feeling really good about you and your marriage. Affection is one of the out-workings of love, Love is the commitment and the action, and affection is the safe, secure feeling that results. Strong marriages thrive when both the behavior of love and the feelings of affection are present. This “love as actions” is what moves you the eighteen inches from your head to your heart.
Love and Affection:
- Love is patient.Affection is empathetic.
- Love is kind.Affection is tender.
- Love is not rude.Affection thoughtfully apologizes for its words.
- Love is not self-seeking. Affection rubs the back of a discouraged spouse.
- Love does not delight in evil.Affection carefully and privately uncovers sin and helps the person back onto his feet.
- Love never fails.Affection under-girds and confirms your unfailing love for your spouse.