How to Cope When You Remain Single Despite Your Level Of Maturity

Updated on December 25, 2016 in Singleness
0 on December 25, 2016

I understand that doesn’t help in the personal sense, but we can find some solace knowing there are many thirty, forty, fifty and even sixty-somethings out there who feel the same way….and are still seeking for someone to live life together with.

It takes sacrifice to become better – whether it’s energy, money, time, prayer or a combination of them all.  We have to invest in ourselves in order to make a difference in our lives.

Embrace the life you have not the one you want, and things will begin to change.

SHE SAID:

As I read this question I hear the many yearnings of fellow single friends saying the same thing. You said you go to many singles events and Christian events and yet no one seems interested or there’s no one to meet. You also said you have prayed and prayed and nothing has happened. When I hear this from singles I have to ask them about how they have prayed. What is keeping you from getting married? Are there any concerns that perhaps are blocking this step? Because if you truly desire marriage and believe it’s God’s will for your life then there might be something blocking this step.

Here are a few steps to try:

1. Find a very close friend, maybe someone who is married, and ask them to tell you the truth about yourself. Do they see anything in you that could prevent you from being married? While we often have friends that say, “you are a great guy,” real friends may be more honest.

2. Write down a list of anything that concerns you about marriage. Take some time in doing this. Our first concern usually has to do with the reality that God has not brought us anyone. But take the time and really pray about your concerns. I did this myself, and the list became very long. Some of the things on the list were: he might snore, what if he has kids or a horrible ex-wife, what if he has a ton of debt, what if he is a control freak, or what if he can’t accept my past failures, etc. The more I prayed the more I saw this huge list of concerns.

These concerns were literally blocking me from getting married. Sure, I had the hallmark mentally that he would come along when I wasn’t looking. But God doesn’t work that way. If you have concerns you haven’t dealt with, they might be blocking you from moving toward marriage. Take these concerns/worries one by one and allow the Holy Spirit to help you deal with them. 

3. Tell God that you will accept whatever person he has for you. That you know he knows who you are and what you need. This may mean that she’s chubby, works at a minimum wage job she loves, has 2 kids from a previous relationship, and snorts when she laughs. You see, I think here is the issue. We say we want to be married that we want what God wants, but when it comes down to it, our list of what we want isn’t always what God wants for us. While it is important to have some kind of list, ultimately we have to trust God.

So, are you trusting God in every detail? Are you serious about praying, asking God to reveal anything in yourself that needs to change? Are you willing to trust God to the point that if he doesn’t bring you to them or vice versa, that God IS ENOUGH? 

When you get to this point, life is easier. We are only on this earth a second compared to eternity. While I totally sympathize with what you are going through, I know there is more to life than getting married. Spend more time with Him, serve Him, build a community of faithful friends, and see how God will help your heart in those tough times. I know, because I am living it. Here are two scriptures that have helped me:

Psalm 37:4, Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Romans 5:1-2Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.

-Crosswalk

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