How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating

Updated on October 12, 2016 in Singleness
0 on October 12, 2016

I have a terrible suspicion that my boyfriend is cheating on me. We’ve been together for a year and a half now and up until recently I’ve never worried.  However, over the past two months he’s gone on three business trips for a week at a time.  And over the past two weeks, he’s been texting with some girl and we’ve been having much less sex than we used to. His excuse has been that he’s just “too tired” for sex.

This is really worrying me and I want to know how to tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me or signs that my boyfriend is cheating (or about to cheat).  I need to know what’s happening and what to do now.

OK – my answer for you is two parts.  Part 1 is how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you / signs that your boyfriend is cheating and part 2 is what to do about it.

First, let’s talking about warning signs that your boyfriend is cheating:

  • His sexual behavior has changed:  This most commonly shows up as him losing interest in sex, but sometimes a boyfriend will become more invested in sex than he used to be (to cover his tracks or to ease his guilt).  Another sign of cheating is that he starts introducing new “tricks” into your sex.
  • His appearance / fashion has changed:  If your boyfriend has started to pay more attention to his appearance, that’s a warning sign that he might be preening to attract someone new.  A new-found interest in fitness, hairstyle or fashion are all warnings that he might be vying for the attention of a woman other than you…
  • He avoids intimacy with you:  Separate from his sexual behavior, if you notice that he avoids intimate gestures with you, then that’s a big warning sign.  In psychology, there’s a concept called “commitment and consistency” – when someone is committing infidelity, showing intimacy towards their girlfriend will “feel yucky” (to put it scientifically) because it’s counter to their cheating behavior.  Unless he’s a really good actor or a sociopath, it will be hard for him to do intimate gestures with you (intimate kissing, holding hands, being close to you, having ‘real’, deep, open conversations, etc.)
  • He’s away from you more: Business trips is an example of being away more, but also noticing him leaving more to “work overtime” or have a “guy’s night out” are warning signs of infidelity as well.
  • You smell perfume on him or he smells freshly showered: If he’s been cheating, your nose may know best.  Do you smell another woman’s perfume on his clothes?  Does he smell freshly showered at a time when it would be unusual for him to be (e.g. immediately after work)?
  • He’s on his phone / the internet more than normal: If you notice he’s on his phone or the internet more than usual, that could be a sign of him cheating.
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